Stand Aside, Aztek: Rolls-Royce Launches the Ugliest SUV Ever

If you thought the Bentley Bentayga was ugly, then you may want to look away for a second, as Rolls-Royce just one-up’d its rival in the hideous SUV department. Meet the Rolls-Royce Cullinan.

Generally, I reserve judgment on these super-premium rigs, as I often lack the taste their shoppers have, but this one is unavoidable. It quite literally looks like a drunken monkey designed it. Seriously, even a Pontiac Aztek driver thinks it’s ugly. While Rolls hasn’t produced beautiful cars for some time, as its design language hasn’t really changed with the times, but inflating that design to SUV proportions is just too much. Please, Rolls, kill it.

Of course, this chunky people mover comes with Rolls-Royce’s venerable 6.75-liter twin-turbo V-8 engine that produces 563 horsepower and 627 pound-feet of torque. And it’ll need every bit of that to get this 5,864-pound behemoth moving. Fuel economy will be understandably terrible at 19 mpg combined on the European scale.

Oddly enough, this 120-inch-long SUV only has five seats, so while it is large and has the room to haul an army, it is really only good for a handful of people.

Of course, this beast boasts all the proper wares that qualify it for the double-R badge. Some of its insanely luxurious features include hand-finished metal pillars on the center stack, box-grain black leather-wrapped dash fascia, real wood trimming, heated armrests, center console lid, C-pillars and more, and an adaptive suspension to create a perfect ride in all conditions.